Friday, August 24, 2012

A Miami Yogi's Hurricane Preparedness Guide 2012

So there's going to be a hurricane. Or maybe just a tropical storm. Either way, you need to be prepared.

And we know that you, dear reader, are not just a mere mortal; you are a yogi. Which means you are special. Special yogis deserve special things. Like special hurricane preparedness guides.

Since we've never been through a legit hurricane, maybe take a look in a few official places before consulting our guide on weathering the storm.

Once you've stocked up on the obvious essentials like bottled water, batteries, condoms, whiskey etc., please read on.

First of all, select your hurricane companions wisely. You're looking at at least 24+ hrs stuck with them. That hot hookup you had last night? No. May seem like a good idea to hunker down together, dare we say romantic? But imagine having no running water (aka no flushing toilets) for the next few days. Yeah romance = over. Enough said.

Second, pick your poison. Take what you think you'll need and then multiply it by two (trust us on this one). However long the storm lasts = how much time you have to kill. Whole Foods has a whole lot of fun stuff! From the obvious like wine and beer to the herbal section; melatonin and Valerian. Who invented the Melatonin-tini?? We did!! WHEEEE!! Storms are fun!!!

Third, activity time. Ok, yogis, consider those endless hours you spent during your undergrad years playing drinking games practice for the next few days. A deck of cards, a dart board (preferably metal tipped to keep things interesting), Twister and whatever else you have laying around will do nicely.

Next, body paint and/or henna. If things get really bad (like days without power bad) it will be fun to rip up your yogi clothes, cover yourself in tribal art and run around the beach like you just washed ashore from Water World. (See, now you understand why we had you double your poison supply. It will be critical for this activity.) Hold impromptu yoga classes in public spaces since yoga studios will most likely be closed. This is your duty. Godspeed.

Lastly, make sure to have all electronic devices charged so that you may obtain video/photographic evidence of all happenings. Please feel free to email them to us at will.

Namaste and stay safe over the next few days guys, gals and everyone in between. 

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